It all started Friday at lunch. Posie was talking about this concert that was going on. There was going to be four or five bands playing, and it was going to be lots of fun. The five of us all decided to go and check it out. The five of us include: Posie, Dasha, Katie, myself, and unfortunetly Cassie.
Of course I still had to ask my mom for permission, but I didn't think it would be a problem since she's always trying to get me to go out and do more. Posie was going to stop by my house and pick me up around six that night, and we would pick up the other girls from there.
My mom got home around 430 and I thought it would be best to just ask. I told her how all my friends were going to be going to this concert and how I wanted to go as well. She was all for me going, at first. I mentioned that I was probably going to be out kind of late. Maybe midnight, or one at the latest. She freaked out when I mentioned this.
"There is no way I'm letting you stay out that late, your only 16," she informed me.
I of course wouldn't let it go. I brought up New Years from a year ago. "You let me go to a New Years Eve party when I was 15. If I was allowed to stay out till midnight then why can't I now that I"m older?"
"That was for a special occasion. I don't want you staying out that late, and that final."
With that she turned around and headed into the kitchen. I stormed up to my room, slammed the door behind me, and called Posie to tell her the bad news. I honestly can't understand my mother. She is always telling me I need to get out more and do more things with kids my own age. It seems like though the second I do she tells me I can't do it.
My mother is psychotic, that 's the only explanation. I spent Friday night at home, by myself, watching the first 3 Saw movies. Then I spent Valentine's Day first at my Saturday night church service (Which was a lot of fun, and was really glad that I decided to go instead of having a pity party at home.) After I got home I watched the 4 and 5 Saw movies.
Thought: My mother needs to make up her mind. Either she wants me to get out and have a life, or stay home and keep going the way I am. But she can't have both, it's physically impossible. Now someone just needs to tell her that.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Was It A Good Day, Or a Bad?
Hey how is everyone out there in the web universe doing? I know that if you follow my blog you'll notice that I've been gone for quite awhile now, and I don't like it one bit. Hopefully, I'll be able to find the time to keep you all informed about the goings on in my life. Nothing too exciting has happened in this new year. Certainly nothing as disastrous as what happened last New Years Eve. (For those of you who don't know what happened go back to last January in my blog and read all about it.)
I started back to school last week, so I'm half way through week two. Actually, I was really excited to go back. I was starting to get bored with my vacation. Which usually happens because I'm a freak and love to go to school and learn. The only thing I hate about high school is all the drama. I swear it's like living in a soap opera that you can't escape, because you're forced to go.
Anyways, my week was going great. Learned some really great things in my classes. Got A's on two quizzes, and an A on a test. Yep, that's all just in three days. I also didn't have any real run ins with Cassie, (The girl I'm fairly certain is trying to ruin my life.) That is until today.
It was at lunch. I was sitting with my three friends: Posie, Dasha, and Katy, when she dropped her tray right down across from me. She smiled over at me with a condescending look that she has perfected, and I always get. She looks down at the shirt I'm wearing and I just know that she's going to make a rude, or inappropriate, comment. My shirt is nearly two sizes too big, since it used to be my older brothers. He got it back when he was in high school, at the concert of his favorite band back then, in the 80's. I won't tell you which band it was, I'll let you wonder. If I told you that would take away half the fun.
Cassie then tells me, "If your trying for the retro look it's falling a little flat. It's not so cool if you just wear a shirt from an 80's band. Actually, it's kind of lame."
"It's not just a shirt," I tell her, "It was my older brothers, he gave it to me. He's from the 80's."
"Being made in the 80's doesn't mean you're from the 80's," she threw back.
"He got it at their concert, and he says it's one of the best one's he's ever been too," I pushed myself up from the table. "Sorry I got to go, I have to get something done. See you all later."
I smiled to myself as I walked away knowing that on the back of my shirt it said the tour was in 1987. My brother would have been 14 when he went to the concert. I think what I took from this conversation was if you don't let a person make you feel small that can't. It seems like ever since she started here that's what she's been doing making me feel less of a person. What I realized today was that she can try all she wants but if I don't take it it won't affect me.
It really was a good day. Talk to you later.
I started back to school last week, so I'm half way through week two. Actually, I was really excited to go back. I was starting to get bored with my vacation. Which usually happens because I'm a freak and love to go to school and learn. The only thing I hate about high school is all the drama. I swear it's like living in a soap opera that you can't escape, because you're forced to go.
Anyways, my week was going great. Learned some really great things in my classes. Got A's on two quizzes, and an A on a test. Yep, that's all just in three days. I also didn't have any real run ins with Cassie, (The girl I'm fairly certain is trying to ruin my life.) That is until today.
It was at lunch. I was sitting with my three friends: Posie, Dasha, and Katy, when she dropped her tray right down across from me. She smiled over at me with a condescending look that she has perfected, and I always get. She looks down at the shirt I'm wearing and I just know that she's going to make a rude, or inappropriate, comment. My shirt is nearly two sizes too big, since it used to be my older brothers. He got it back when he was in high school, at the concert of his favorite band back then, in the 80's. I won't tell you which band it was, I'll let you wonder. If I told you that would take away half the fun.
Cassie then tells me, "If your trying for the retro look it's falling a little flat. It's not so cool if you just wear a shirt from an 80's band. Actually, it's kind of lame."
"It's not just a shirt," I tell her, "It was my older brothers, he gave it to me. He's from the 80's."
"Being made in the 80's doesn't mean you're from the 80's," she threw back.
"He got it at their concert, and he says it's one of the best one's he's ever been too," I pushed myself up from the table. "Sorry I got to go, I have to get something done. See you all later."
I smiled to myself as I walked away knowing that on the back of my shirt it said the tour was in 1987. My brother would have been 14 when he went to the concert. I think what I took from this conversation was if you don't let a person make you feel small that can't. It seems like ever since she started here that's what she's been doing making me feel less of a person. What I realized today was that she can try all she wants but if I don't take it it won't affect me.
It really was a good day. Talk to you later.
Monday, October 6, 2008
How To Make a Confusing Situation More Confusing
I actually had a really good weekend. I can't say I did anything really overly exciting. Friday night I hung out with my friends, and I'm glad the new girl wasn't there. Cause I didn't want to have to deal with it right then. Saturday I slept till noon, hung out at my brothers store, and then went to the show they put on at a local club. It was a great show everybody there absolutely loved them.
Sunday was when things started to go... Well let's see bad isn't the right word to use, because I happened to like what transpired. Let's just say that things took a turn for the interesting. After I got back from church that morning I spent most of the day at home. I had an essay due today (Monday) that I still didn't quite have finished. Also, since I hung out with my friends on Friday and my brother on Saturday, I had tons of calculus homework. It takes at least an hour every night to get just my calculus work done, sometimes up to two hours. No joke, if you've never taken calculus you'll just have to take my word for it.
As I was saying, I spent most of the day at home getting my school work finished for today. Once I finally got done, which was around 5, I decided to head over to Patch's and see what he was up to. When I need something to do hanging out with Patch is the first thing that comes to mind. I took the bus over (I can't wait till I'm 16, have my license, and can drive and no longer have to take the bus) and just my luck he wasn't there.
Jonah was working and of course decided that he didn't need to inform me that my brother and his friends had just left to get dinner about 5 minutes earlier. No, I got all the way upstairs to Patch's apartment to find it almost empty. I say almost because Nolan was the only one who was there. For those of you who don't know (Go back and read my earlier posting to get up to speed on everything), or have forgotten Nolan is the drummer in my brothers kick ass band.
"Where is everybody?" I asked.
"You just missed them, Tal. They all went to get dinner."
"Then why are you still here?"
"I though I could use a little extra practice learning the bands songs. I mean those guys have been playing these songs forever, and I still feel like I could do better," he replied hitting one of his cymbals.
I rolled my eyes and fell back onto a couch with a huff, "That figures. I finally get the chance to get out of the house and that loser isn't even here."
Nolan laughed, and let me tell you not only is he gorgeous but that smile of his could warm your heart from a mile away. "Your always welcome to keep me company."
That's exactly what I did. I watched him practice on the drums for a bit. That might sound boring, but trust me it wasn't. Watching him was like poetry in motion. After awhile he got tired from playing and he took a seat next to me on my brothers old beat up couch. (Actually I think it used to belong to my parents back when my brother was like 5. So, it's at least 30 years old.) We started talking, about anything and everything there was. Nolan told me what it was like for him back in high school, how he got into the drums, and just more about him. I talked about school, what I wanted to do for college, how I loved playing soccer, and because it's me I started babbling about how I loved school because of what a challenge it was. (Thinking about it now I know how much of a dork I sounded like.)
Before either of us knew it it was already 8:00, and I knew I should be getting home. Wait, you're probably wondering how my night was so confusing? Well, I haven't gotten to that part yet. Just after I got done saying that I should be heading home, and that Patch would probably be back any minute, he leaned in close and kissed me. Now, when I say kiss I don't just mean a little friendly kiss. It was a real; heart stopping, world spinning, leave you breathless kind of kiss. I was as shocked as I'm sure all of you are. Honestly I wasn't expecting that, not that I'm going to complain.
After he kissed me he decided to walk me down to the store, since he needed to be leaving too. We got to the door that lead into the back of the store and he and bent down and gave me a quick kiss before pushing through the door and heading home. He left me standing there dazed and confused. I knew I needed to get home before I wasn't able to find my way. As I made my way to the front door I heard someone clear their throat.
I turned to see Jonah sitting on the counter, "Hey there darlin leaving so soon?"
I glared at him. He either was just trying to get on my nerves or he had something to say. I was hoping it was the latter. "What do you want?"
"Oh, nothing," which obviously meant not nothing. "I just don't think it's very becoming of a young lady whose only 15 to be making out with a 22 year old man."
"I wasn't making out with anybody."
"Not from where I was standing," even when he was being a total ass I couldn't help but admire his sexy smile, and that made me a bit depressed.
"It was not, it was barely even a kiss," I defended myself.
He held up his hands in mock surrender, "He I was only messing around. You go ahead and kiss whoever you want to. I'm only going to say one more thing about it. If that's alright with you?" I didn't respond, because I knew that even if I told him I didn't want to hear it he'd tell me anyway. He took my silence as consent to continue, because that's just what he did. "I just don't think Nolan is the type of guy you should be kissing. You can do a 100 times better then him."
I gave him a knowing smile, "I see how it is. Your just jealous because I told you to get lost when you kissed me, freak."
"That's funny," he pretended to laugh, "But really I'm not jealous. I know guys like Nolan and he not the kind you want to be kissing. You're just going to have to trust me, sweetheart. If you decide not to take my advice and keep on kissing him there's going to come a time when you realize that I'm right. But I'll be nice and won't say I told you so, I'll just be there to listen. I'm a really good listener you know."
"Why on earth would I take advice from you? You only tried to shove your tongue down my throat the first time I met you," he gave me a guilty grin. "I have to be going home."
"Fine, but you'll see."
I stopped with my hand on the front door, " Oh, and Jonah, don't say anything about any of this to anyone."
"My lips are sealed."
As I'm sure you can tell I really don't know what to think. I don't know whether to be elated that I was kissed by such a handsome older guy, or worried about what Jonah said about him. But then again can I really trust anything that Jonah says to me. (If you don't know the story behind Jonah and myself go read my blog about New Years, that will clear everything up.) I don't know what to think or what to do. I need some help and I need it fast.
But all of that aside, I love you all,
Tal
Sunday was when things started to go... Well let's see bad isn't the right word to use, because I happened to like what transpired. Let's just say that things took a turn for the interesting. After I got back from church that morning I spent most of the day at home. I had an essay due today (Monday) that I still didn't quite have finished. Also, since I hung out with my friends on Friday and my brother on Saturday, I had tons of calculus homework. It takes at least an hour every night to get just my calculus work done, sometimes up to two hours. No joke, if you've never taken calculus you'll just have to take my word for it.
As I was saying, I spent most of the day at home getting my school work finished for today. Once I finally got done, which was around 5, I decided to head over to Patch's and see what he was up to. When I need something to do hanging out with Patch is the first thing that comes to mind. I took the bus over (I can't wait till I'm 16, have my license, and can drive and no longer have to take the bus) and just my luck he wasn't there.
Jonah was working and of course decided that he didn't need to inform me that my brother and his friends had just left to get dinner about 5 minutes earlier. No, I got all the way upstairs to Patch's apartment to find it almost empty. I say almost because Nolan was the only one who was there. For those of you who don't know (Go back and read my earlier posting to get up to speed on everything), or have forgotten Nolan is the drummer in my brothers kick ass band.
"Where is everybody?" I asked.
"You just missed them, Tal. They all went to get dinner."
"Then why are you still here?"
"I though I could use a little extra practice learning the bands songs. I mean those guys have been playing these songs forever, and I still feel like I could do better," he replied hitting one of his cymbals.
I rolled my eyes and fell back onto a couch with a huff, "That figures. I finally get the chance to get out of the house and that loser isn't even here."
Nolan laughed, and let me tell you not only is he gorgeous but that smile of his could warm your heart from a mile away. "Your always welcome to keep me company."
That's exactly what I did. I watched him practice on the drums for a bit. That might sound boring, but trust me it wasn't. Watching him was like poetry in motion. After awhile he got tired from playing and he took a seat next to me on my brothers old beat up couch. (Actually I think it used to belong to my parents back when my brother was like 5. So, it's at least 30 years old.) We started talking, about anything and everything there was. Nolan told me what it was like for him back in high school, how he got into the drums, and just more about him. I talked about school, what I wanted to do for college, how I loved playing soccer, and because it's me I started babbling about how I loved school because of what a challenge it was. (Thinking about it now I know how much of a dork I sounded like.)
Before either of us knew it it was already 8:00, and I knew I should be getting home. Wait, you're probably wondering how my night was so confusing? Well, I haven't gotten to that part yet. Just after I got done saying that I should be heading home, and that Patch would probably be back any minute, he leaned in close and kissed me. Now, when I say kiss I don't just mean a little friendly kiss. It was a real; heart stopping, world spinning, leave you breathless kind of kiss. I was as shocked as I'm sure all of you are. Honestly I wasn't expecting that, not that I'm going to complain.
After he kissed me he decided to walk me down to the store, since he needed to be leaving too. We got to the door that lead into the back of the store and he and bent down and gave me a quick kiss before pushing through the door and heading home. He left me standing there dazed and confused. I knew I needed to get home before I wasn't able to find my way. As I made my way to the front door I heard someone clear their throat.
I turned to see Jonah sitting on the counter, "Hey there darlin leaving so soon?"
I glared at him. He either was just trying to get on my nerves or he had something to say. I was hoping it was the latter. "What do you want?"
"Oh, nothing," which obviously meant not nothing. "I just don't think it's very becoming of a young lady whose only 15 to be making out with a 22 year old man."
"I wasn't making out with anybody."
"Not from where I was standing," even when he was being a total ass I couldn't help but admire his sexy smile, and that made me a bit depressed.
"It was not, it was barely even a kiss," I defended myself.
He held up his hands in mock surrender, "He I was only messing around. You go ahead and kiss whoever you want to. I'm only going to say one more thing about it. If that's alright with you?" I didn't respond, because I knew that even if I told him I didn't want to hear it he'd tell me anyway. He took my silence as consent to continue, because that's just what he did. "I just don't think Nolan is the type of guy you should be kissing. You can do a 100 times better then him."
I gave him a knowing smile, "I see how it is. Your just jealous because I told you to get lost when you kissed me, freak."
"That's funny," he pretended to laugh, "But really I'm not jealous. I know guys like Nolan and he not the kind you want to be kissing. You're just going to have to trust me, sweetheart. If you decide not to take my advice and keep on kissing him there's going to come a time when you realize that I'm right. But I'll be nice and won't say I told you so, I'll just be there to listen. I'm a really good listener you know."
"Why on earth would I take advice from you? You only tried to shove your tongue down my throat the first time I met you," he gave me a guilty grin. "I have to be going home."
"Fine, but you'll see."
I stopped with my hand on the front door, " Oh, and Jonah, don't say anything about any of this to anyone."
"My lips are sealed."
As I'm sure you can tell I really don't know what to think. I don't know whether to be elated that I was kissed by such a handsome older guy, or worried about what Jonah said about him. But then again can I really trust anything that Jonah says to me. (If you don't know the story behind Jonah and myself go read my blog about New Years, that will clear everything up.) I don't know what to think or what to do. I need some help and I need it fast.
But all of that aside, I love you all,
Tal
Monday, September 29, 2008
Maybe I'm Just Paranoid But...
I know it's been awhile since I last posted anything, but I'm back. I've been so busy with school work it's not even funny, and coming from me that saying something. Seeing as how I like school. Maybe not homework so much, but just school in general.
This year there's a new girl in school. Her name is Cassandra, but she goes by Cassie. She's absolutely gorgeous. You know how a long time ago I mentioned how beautiful my best friend Posie is, well you could say she's even more beautiful. Or just in different ways. It's not just looks she has either, she's got brains as well. She's in a lot of my advanced placement classes as well.
Oh, and don't forget the fact that she's trying to steal my friends. Yeah, I know that sounds all third grade and immature (and I have had people tell me that already), but it's completely true. She sits with us every day at lunch. That might not seem so bad, but let me tell you about it. When I get to the table everyone is already there, talking and laughing, having a great time. The second I sit down they stop talking about whatever it was they were talking about, with a complete subject change. Wait, I haven't reached the best part yet. What happens when I ask them what they're talking about? Cassie looks over at me condescendingly and tells me it was nothing, and I shouldn't worry about it. I wasn't worrying, your crazy .... (I'm not even going to say what I was thinking, but you know.)
Of course I would ask Posie, every time, what they were talking about and why it was just a secret. She, being my best friend, would tell me what they had been talking about and it wasn't even great conversation. So, my question is then why is Cassie not allowing me to join in the conversation? My guess would be that for some reason, that I can't fathom, she just does not like me. The real question is though, if she doesn't like me why is she spending so much time with my friends? I don't know, but I'll keep you posted.
What people think of the situation:
Well all until next time have a great week, and don't get into too much trouble.
I love you all, Tal.
This year there's a new girl in school. Her name is Cassandra, but she goes by Cassie. She's absolutely gorgeous. You know how a long time ago I mentioned how beautiful my best friend Posie is, well you could say she's even more beautiful. Or just in different ways. It's not just looks she has either, she's got brains as well. She's in a lot of my advanced placement classes as well.
Oh, and don't forget the fact that she's trying to steal my friends. Yeah, I know that sounds all third grade and immature (and I have had people tell me that already), but it's completely true. She sits with us every day at lunch. That might not seem so bad, but let me tell you about it. When I get to the table everyone is already there, talking and laughing, having a great time. The second I sit down they stop talking about whatever it was they were talking about, with a complete subject change. Wait, I haven't reached the best part yet. What happens when I ask them what they're talking about? Cassie looks over at me condescendingly and tells me it was nothing, and I shouldn't worry about it. I wasn't worrying, your crazy .... (I'm not even going to say what I was thinking, but you know.)
Of course I would ask Posie, every time, what they were talking about and why it was just a secret. She, being my best friend, would tell me what they had been talking about and it wasn't even great conversation. So, my question is then why is Cassie not allowing me to join in the conversation? My guess would be that for some reason, that I can't fathom, she just does not like me. The real question is though, if she doesn't like me why is she spending so much time with my friends? I don't know, but I'll keep you posted.
What people think of the situation:
- Posie- She's new and she doesn't know anyone so I should give her the benefit of the doubt, and not think she's out to get me.
- Patch- That I'm being paranoid. I need to stop seeing what I want to see and see what's really there. Easy for him to say he's never met her, and seen how she acts towards me.
- Jonah- That I'm probably right and she's out to get me. She wants to steal my friends and my life. Of course after he says this he start laughing uncontrollably. Can I really listen to what he says? I mean you do remember who Jonah is right?
Well all until next time have a great week, and don't get into too much trouble.
I love you all, Tal.
Monday, September 1, 2008
School Is Once Again Starting!
It would seem that I'm doing absolutely on this holiday of ours. It's also the last day before school once again starts up for the year. I find myself once more in the familiar predicament of not wanting the summer and my freedom of only having to do what I want (and sometimes my parents) to having to return to the routine of school, Monday tru Friday. Yet, it's not as bad for me as it is for all my other friends, because I really like going to school. Which I know sounds completely crazy coming from a 15 year old sophomore.
I'm more then ready for my classes to start and to get back to the pleasure of learning. That's what it is for me, even if you or anyone else might not think it's all that sane. Although, I'll be a bit sad that I will no longer have all the time in the world to just sit and relax with a good book, because that's also something I do. School will be amazing this year though. I'll be taking chemistry, calculus, my second year of Russian, art history, and the best class of them all drivers ed.
Even if the first day of school is dreaded to all my other classmates, I dare you to find one sophomore, just one, who isn't completely excited to be taking drivers ed this year. I mean what teenager hasn't been looking fore ward to being able to drive since they were like 6. I know I have.
With today being my last day of freedom before school starts back up I'm going to enjoy it the best way I know how. I'm going down to my brothers store and hang out with the coolest band that's ever rocked this town. Anyways, I'll see you all around.
I'm more then ready for my classes to start and to get back to the pleasure of learning. That's what it is for me, even if you or anyone else might not think it's all that sane. Although, I'll be a bit sad that I will no longer have all the time in the world to just sit and relax with a good book, because that's also something I do. School will be amazing this year though. I'll be taking chemistry, calculus, my second year of Russian, art history, and the best class of them all drivers ed.
Even if the first day of school is dreaded to all my other classmates, I dare you to find one sophomore, just one, who isn't completely excited to be taking drivers ed this year. I mean what teenager hasn't been looking fore ward to being able to drive since they were like 6. I know I have.
With today being my last day of freedom before school starts back up I'm going to enjoy it the best way I know how. I'm going down to my brothers store and hang out with the coolest band that's ever rocked this town. Anyways, I'll see you all around.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
A Summer On The Road
Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been on for the last two months, but my life has been crazy and unpredictable. My brother and his band decided to tour these past few months. From the end of May till the middle of July. My parents didn't want to let me go at first, but I begged and I pleaded. In the end Patch promised them he'd bring me back in one piece, without any tattoos. Not that I would get one anyway. I have an irrational fear of needles, I'm a bit needle phobic (Or whatever the phobia is called.)
They finally agreed to let me go, once the school year officially ended of course. So, I've been traveling the east coast with my totally cool older brother, his amazingly awesome band mates, and their completely sexy new drummer. Which by the way I got to know a lot better. Nolan's really fun and we seem to have the same interests, in like books and music and stuff. I certainly will be hanging out with the band more often. Question: If I'm the lead singers little sister does that still mean I'm a groupie, or what?
The reason I haven't been able to get online and keep you all up to date is because I currently don't own a laptop. Patch has one, but it was being a bitch and would barely come online long enough to check email before it would disconnect itself. It sucked that I couldn't keep my loyal fans (that's everyone reading this right now) up to date on the fun and crazy life that was my summer touring with a band.
Now that summer is winding down and the school year is fast approaching I'll have more time to keep in touch. I'll be doing some back to school shopping with my friends hoping to find the right style, except I'm not really sure that the cloths I wear would be considered style. At least, that's what my friends would tell you anyway.
To be honest with you I can't wait for the school year to start back up. I love school, and learning, but it's also my sophomore year. You know what that means right? Drivers Ed. I get to learn how to drive and when I turn 16 in January I'll get my license, and my parents will get me my first car. Even if it's a POS, that they'll pay probably $2,000 for.
Well, I'll let you know what's going on as things progress throughout the year. But for now I've got places to go and things to see. OK, not really, but it sounded cool.
They finally agreed to let me go, once the school year officially ended of course. So, I've been traveling the east coast with my totally cool older brother, his amazingly awesome band mates, and their completely sexy new drummer. Which by the way I got to know a lot better. Nolan's really fun and we seem to have the same interests, in like books and music and stuff. I certainly will be hanging out with the band more often. Question: If I'm the lead singers little sister does that still mean I'm a groupie, or what?
The reason I haven't been able to get online and keep you all up to date is because I currently don't own a laptop. Patch has one, but it was being a bitch and would barely come online long enough to check email before it would disconnect itself. It sucked that I couldn't keep my loyal fans (that's everyone reading this right now) up to date on the fun and crazy life that was my summer touring with a band.
Now that summer is winding down and the school year is fast approaching I'll have more time to keep in touch. I'll be doing some back to school shopping with my friends hoping to find the right style, except I'm not really sure that the cloths I wear would be considered style. At least, that's what my friends would tell you anyway.
To be honest with you I can't wait for the school year to start back up. I love school, and learning, but it's also my sophomore year. You know what that means right? Drivers Ed. I get to learn how to drive and when I turn 16 in January I'll get my license, and my parents will get me my first car. Even if it's a POS, that they'll pay probably $2,000 for.
Well, I'll let you know what's going on as things progress throughout the year. But for now I've got places to go and things to see. OK, not really, but it sounded cool.
Friday, May 30, 2008
A Poem For a Boy
I fall into oblivion
Wondering in a daze
I look to see you standing there
A smile on your face
You hold your hand out to me
And I find it hard to breath
I want to be in your arms
And never slip away
I find myself falling
Falling faster
Faster for you
I never felt so scared inside
Yet happy all at the same time
I want to hear you call my name
And tell me everything is all right
I only want to see your face
Just once outside my dreams
I always seem to find you there
But never when I wake
When I open my eyes your smile and touch slowly fade away.
No matter what I say or do I seem to be falling
Falling faster in love with you
Wondering in a daze
I look to see you standing there
A smile on your face
You hold your hand out to me
And I find it hard to breath
I want to be in your arms
And never slip away
I find myself falling
Falling faster
Faster for you
I never felt so scared inside
Yet happy all at the same time
I want to hear you call my name
And tell me everything is all right
I only want to see your face
Just once outside my dreams
I always seem to find you there
But never when I wake
When I open my eyes your smile and touch slowly fade away.
No matter what I say or do I seem to be falling
Falling faster in love with you
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Could I Have Been Any Stupider?
I went to my local Barnes n' Noble yesterday afternoon and that's when I met Skyler. He was 5'9" with dirty blond hair and pale green eyes. Might I add that he was freaking gorgeous. I was sitting in the cafe drinking a Carmel Frappacino, and reading a book, when he sat down at the table next to mine. I noticed him watching me. It wasn't a creepy pedophile kind of staring but that he was into me.
I looked up at him and smiled, and he decided to join me at my table. "Hello there, I'm Skyler. What might the pretty ladies name be?"
I pretended to be shocked, "You mean me?"
He laughed, "Of course I mean you. I did sit down at your table didn't I?"
"I guess you did. In that case, I'm Tal."
"That's a cool name. I like that it's unique. Is it short for something?"
"Talbot."
"Even better," his eyes sparkled when he smiled. "What do we find ourselves reading today, Tal?"
I took a sip of my coffee, "I don't know about you, but I'm reading Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton."
I watched him laugh silently, "What's it about? Any good?"
"Yeah, I love it. It's the seventh book in a series. It's about this woman, Anita Blake, who raises the dead for a living as well as kill vampires. Well, when she's not dating them. They're really good. This is the second time I've read this one."
"Sounds cool, I love vampires. If they were real I'd want to be one," he told me.
I looked him straight in the eye and told him (as if dead serious.) "Who says their not?"
He didn't know what to say at first, and he was kind of freaked out, but he figured out that I was only joking pretty quick. "You have a strange sense of humor. It's refreshing most girls have a dumb sense of humor. For a moment I wasn't sure if you were being serious or not."
"I'm as serious as a heart attack," he looked seriously puzzled. "That was a little lame wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't a little lame. It was very lame."
"Yeah it was. I can't believe I said that, I'm so embarrassed. I always say the stupidest shit when I'm nervous."
"Why would you be nervous?" Skyler asked.
"I always get nervous when talking to a cute guy."
He have me a lopsided grin, "You shouldn't be nervous, I'm a nice guy. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"How old are you?"
"15," now he'd run away, "But I'll be 16 in like two months."
"Really, your only 15? I would have said 17 for sure."
"I find that hard to believe. What about you?"
"You shouldn't, you seem very mature. That's why I would have said older. I'll be 18 in 3 1/2 months."
"That's cool. So where do you go to school? I haven't' seen you around."
"Actually, I graduated last year and I go to the university."
"That definitely earns you points."
"Awesome, I'll have to start thinking of what I want to cash them in for." I couldn't help but laugh at him. "What do you have planned for tonight?"
"Nothing really, I'll probably go see my brother's band play."
"That sounds like fun. Is it like a teenage band then?"
"No, my brother is 35. The youngest member in the band is their new drummer and he's 22."
"Your brother's 20 years older then you are, that's crazy." He changed the subject super fast, "If your not doing anything tonight you should let me take you to dinner?"
"I just met you 10 minutes go and you're already asking me out on a date?"
"So, what do you say?"
"You know what, yes. I will let you take me out to dinner."
"Perfect, how about you meet me back here at 5 and I'll drive?"
"Sounds like a plan."
"Alright, Tal, I'll see you in a few hours," he pushed back form the table and headed out the door.
Shoving my book in my purse (let me assure you I wasn't stealing it, I had already owned the book when I went to the store) I threw my empty coffee cup away, and headed to the store. I had to tell Patch about my date.
Patch wasn't there when I got there. Jonah was sitting behind the counter, "He should be back in 10-15 minutes, sweetheart."
"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me things like that, before you get it through your thick skull?"
His laugh was sinfully sweet, "At least one more time. What are you so hot to tell Patch about anyway?"
"Not that it's any of you business, but I have a date tonight," I told him.
"The lucky bastard. Don't let him take advantage of you," Jonah insisted.
"He won't, because unlike you he's a nice guy. He's polite, smart, and a gentleman, also unlike you."
"I guess I deserved that," I turned to walk away but his voice had me turning back around. "If he tries to take advantage of you tell me and I'll kick his ass."
I stared at him in complete silence for a minute or two, "I didn't realize you gave a shit."
"No it's just if anyone gets to take advantage of you it's going to be me. Certainly not some random guy you just met."
"You are such a dick. You know you were some random guy I just met when you tried to get me drunk and take advantage of me?"
"I know, but that was me not him."
I shook my head, "I've had enough of you for one day. When Patch gets here tell him I'm upstairs."
"Sure thing beautiful," he called after me.
When I finally told Patch about my date he wasn't completely thrilled. He was happy for me, but he was worried about the fact that I had just met him. I told him not to worry and headed home to find something to wear.
I ended up choosing these cute jeans with read seams up the legs. They were tight, but not you look fat tight. With a read sleeveless shirt that my brother's band had made.
Skyler ended up taking me to this expensive restaurant downtown. I can't tell you the name, because it might give something away. After dinner was when things got out of control. He asked if I would like to go for a walk in the park. I said yes. It was already dark so we practically saw nobody else. After a bit of walking Skyler took a seat on a park bench. "Why don't we sit a moment and enjoy the night."
He put his arm around my shoulder, and before I realized it he was leaning in to kiss me. I let him. I wouldn't usually let someone kiss me on the first date, but for some reason I wanted him to. As we continued to kiss his hands started to touch me, but I pushed them away. He moved his hands, for a moment. When ever they got too low or too high I would push them away, but they seemed to keep coming back.
When I finally realized that he wasn't the nice guy I thought he was I told him to stop. I was glad when he did, I guess I was a little scared he wouldn't. He didn't try to force me to do anything, but he was so angry that he left. I ended up having to walk home. I wasn't going to call my parents, or Patch, to come and get me I was too humiliated.
In the end I told everyone that I had a fun time, but I probably wouldn't see him again. I couldn't even bring myself to tell Patch the truth of the night.
I headed down to the store today, because at home I was bored out of my mind. (I'm actually at the store now writing this on Patch's computer.) When I got there of course Jonah was behind the counter reading a magazine. He looked up when he heard the bell, "Hey sweet thing, how was your date."
"It was fine. I'm going upstairs."
He tossed the magazine down on the counter. "You are a horrible liar. I see right through you. It wasn't fine, he did something didn't he?"
"No, nothing happened. I said no he stopped, that's it. I told everyone that I had a good time and I don't plan on seeing him again, and you better remember that."
"I won't tell on you. If the guy ever comes in here though I'll kick his ass."
I laughed, "You don't even know what he looks like."
"Well then you'll just have to tell me, darlin."
"Oh, shut-up," I half laughed as I walked away.
Now I'm going to leave you with a song. I love Sublime they're one of the best bands ever. This song reminds me of Skyler, or almost any guy for that matter. They only seem to have one thing on their minds. So, I leave you with Sublime's 'Caress Me Down'.
I looked up at him and smiled, and he decided to join me at my table. "Hello there, I'm Skyler. What might the pretty ladies name be?"
I pretended to be shocked, "You mean me?"
He laughed, "Of course I mean you. I did sit down at your table didn't I?"
"I guess you did. In that case, I'm Tal."
"That's a cool name. I like that it's unique. Is it short for something?"
"Talbot."
"Even better," his eyes sparkled when he smiled. "What do we find ourselves reading today, Tal?"
I took a sip of my coffee, "I don't know about you, but I'm reading Burnt Offerings by Laurell K. Hamilton."
I watched him laugh silently, "What's it about? Any good?"
"Yeah, I love it. It's the seventh book in a series. It's about this woman, Anita Blake, who raises the dead for a living as well as kill vampires. Well, when she's not dating them. They're really good. This is the second time I've read this one."
"Sounds cool, I love vampires. If they were real I'd want to be one," he told me.
I looked him straight in the eye and told him (as if dead serious.) "Who says their not?"
He didn't know what to say at first, and he was kind of freaked out, but he figured out that I was only joking pretty quick. "You have a strange sense of humor. It's refreshing most girls have a dumb sense of humor. For a moment I wasn't sure if you were being serious or not."
"I'm as serious as a heart attack," he looked seriously puzzled. "That was a little lame wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't a little lame. It was very lame."
"Yeah it was. I can't believe I said that, I'm so embarrassed. I always say the stupidest shit when I'm nervous."
"Why would you be nervous?" Skyler asked.
"I always get nervous when talking to a cute guy."
He have me a lopsided grin, "You shouldn't be nervous, I'm a nice guy. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"How old are you?"
"15," now he'd run away, "But I'll be 16 in like two months."
"Really, your only 15? I would have said 17 for sure."
"I find that hard to believe. What about you?"
"You shouldn't, you seem very mature. That's why I would have said older. I'll be 18 in 3 1/2 months."
"That's cool. So where do you go to school? I haven't' seen you around."
"Actually, I graduated last year and I go to the university."
"That definitely earns you points."
"Awesome, I'll have to start thinking of what I want to cash them in for." I couldn't help but laugh at him. "What do you have planned for tonight?"
"Nothing really, I'll probably go see my brother's band play."
"That sounds like fun. Is it like a teenage band then?"
"No, my brother is 35. The youngest member in the band is their new drummer and he's 22."
"Your brother's 20 years older then you are, that's crazy." He changed the subject super fast, "If your not doing anything tonight you should let me take you to dinner?"
"I just met you 10 minutes go and you're already asking me out on a date?"
"So, what do you say?"
"You know what, yes. I will let you take me out to dinner."
"Perfect, how about you meet me back here at 5 and I'll drive?"
"Sounds like a plan."
"Alright, Tal, I'll see you in a few hours," he pushed back form the table and headed out the door.
Shoving my book in my purse (let me assure you I wasn't stealing it, I had already owned the book when I went to the store) I threw my empty coffee cup away, and headed to the store. I had to tell Patch about my date.
Patch wasn't there when I got there. Jonah was sitting behind the counter, "He should be back in 10-15 minutes, sweetheart."
"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me things like that, before you get it through your thick skull?"
His laugh was sinfully sweet, "At least one more time. What are you so hot to tell Patch about anyway?"
"Not that it's any of you business, but I have a date tonight," I told him.
"The lucky bastard. Don't let him take advantage of you," Jonah insisted.
"He won't, because unlike you he's a nice guy. He's polite, smart, and a gentleman, also unlike you."
"I guess I deserved that," I turned to walk away but his voice had me turning back around. "If he tries to take advantage of you tell me and I'll kick his ass."
I stared at him in complete silence for a minute or two, "I didn't realize you gave a shit."
"No it's just if anyone gets to take advantage of you it's going to be me. Certainly not some random guy you just met."
"You are such a dick. You know you were some random guy I just met when you tried to get me drunk and take advantage of me?"
"I know, but that was me not him."
I shook my head, "I've had enough of you for one day. When Patch gets here tell him I'm upstairs."
"Sure thing beautiful," he called after me.
When I finally told Patch about my date he wasn't completely thrilled. He was happy for me, but he was worried about the fact that I had just met him. I told him not to worry and headed home to find something to wear.
I ended up choosing these cute jeans with read seams up the legs. They were tight, but not you look fat tight. With a read sleeveless shirt that my brother's band had made.
Skyler ended up taking me to this expensive restaurant downtown. I can't tell you the name, because it might give something away. After dinner was when things got out of control. He asked if I would like to go for a walk in the park. I said yes. It was already dark so we practically saw nobody else. After a bit of walking Skyler took a seat on a park bench. "Why don't we sit a moment and enjoy the night."
He put his arm around my shoulder, and before I realized it he was leaning in to kiss me. I let him. I wouldn't usually let someone kiss me on the first date, but for some reason I wanted him to. As we continued to kiss his hands started to touch me, but I pushed them away. He moved his hands, for a moment. When ever they got too low or too high I would push them away, but they seemed to keep coming back.
When I finally realized that he wasn't the nice guy I thought he was I told him to stop. I was glad when he did, I guess I was a little scared he wouldn't. He didn't try to force me to do anything, but he was so angry that he left. I ended up having to walk home. I wasn't going to call my parents, or Patch, to come and get me I was too humiliated.
In the end I told everyone that I had a fun time, but I probably wouldn't see him again. I couldn't even bring myself to tell Patch the truth of the night.
I headed down to the store today, because at home I was bored out of my mind. (I'm actually at the store now writing this on Patch's computer.) When I got there of course Jonah was behind the counter reading a magazine. He looked up when he heard the bell, "Hey sweet thing, how was your date."
"It was fine. I'm going upstairs."
He tossed the magazine down on the counter. "You are a horrible liar. I see right through you. It wasn't fine, he did something didn't he?"
"No, nothing happened. I said no he stopped, that's it. I told everyone that I had a good time and I don't plan on seeing him again, and you better remember that."
"I won't tell on you. If the guy ever comes in here though I'll kick his ass."
I laughed, "You don't even know what he looks like."
"Well then you'll just have to tell me, darlin."
"Oh, shut-up," I half laughed as I walked away.
Now I'm going to leave you with a song. I love Sublime they're one of the best bands ever. This song reminds me of Skyler, or almost any guy for that matter. They only seem to have one thing on their minds. So, I leave you with Sublime's 'Caress Me Down'.
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Saturday, April 12, 2008
A Poem
I find it harder to live each day on my own
And it becomes harder each day
You offered Your help
You sent me Your grace
But I ran from You
As far as I could go
No matter how far
No matter how hard I tried
I could never go so far
As to be away from You
The more I ran
The more You’d chase after me
My days became hard
My nights became long
And I couldn’t sleep without You
I need you because I can’t live without you
Cause You are my God
And I live for You
You are my God
And I breath for You
You are my God
And I’ll worship You
From now until eternity
And it becomes harder each day
You offered Your help
You sent me Your grace
But I ran from You
As far as I could go
No matter how far
No matter how hard I tried
I could never go so far
As to be away from You
The more I ran
The more You’d chase after me
My days became hard
My nights became long
And I couldn’t sleep without You
I need you because I can’t live without you
Cause You are my God
And I live for You
You are my God
And I breath for You
You are my God
And I’ll worship You
From now until eternity
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
What Sucks Worse Then Being Sick All Weekend?
To answer the question stated in my title, NOTHING. I got so sick last Thursday I couldn't even get drag myself out of bed long enough to walk down the hall to my bathroom. It was the worst thing ever. I was just as sick all weekend too. (Even a bit on Monday but my mom made me go back to school at that point.)
There were two things that made it about a hundred times worse then it should have been. And no I don't mean my mother hovering over me all weekend making sure I wasn't going to burst into flames from my 101* fever. The first thing was the fact that I ended up missing not just one but two concerts.
The first one was my brother, Patch's, show with the guys. It should have been totally awesome, not that they aren't every time they play. Sully is still in town for another week and half so luckily I didn't miss his last show with the band, cause I think I would have had to kill somebody. Next weekend is his official last show with the band, and I think I might have to cry. Friday night was the first show that featured Nolan the new drummer. He only played one song with the band, but I was hysterical that I didn't get to see it. Really though I wasn't cause I was too busy puking to worry about it at the time.
The second concert I missed was on Saturday night. Seeing as how I was still throwing my guts up at the time. Patch and I were set and psyched to go to the concert but he ended up taking Sully instead. I guess if I couldn't go might as well let him cause he's leaving us and all. I'm not even going to tell you which concert cause then I'd have to be reminded all the time that I missed out on it. Why torture myself when I don't have to.
The second reason for it sucking being sick was missing school. Missing classes would have been amazing if not for two things. 1.) The fact that I was sick and couldn't do anything but lay in bed and try to sleep. 2.) I had a shit load of homework to do after missing Thursday and Friday. Seeing as how it's already Wednesday and I'm only now just getting time to get on here and write this.
Well I'm going to leave you with a thought and a song. First the thought, if you ever wake up early in the morning ready to go to school and think to yourself, "I wish I was sick so I could stay home. That would be so much better then being in school." Think again, it's a million times worse and you still have to do the homework you would have had to do. Although, now you have to do your current work and your make up work at the same time and get it done by the same short day. I would have honestly rather have been in school those two days.
Now a song. While sick I kept thinking of this Boys Like Girls song, 5 Minutes to Midnight. Only because I was sick and couldn't get this one line of the song out of my head. It goes, "I've got a sickness you've got the cure." I was sick and it was a sickness and a cure. Anyway, I'll leave you with this awesome song. Rock on and I'll talk to you all later.
There were two things that made it about a hundred times worse then it should have been. And no I don't mean my mother hovering over me all weekend making sure I wasn't going to burst into flames from my 101* fever. The first thing was the fact that I ended up missing not just one but two concerts.
The first one was my brother, Patch's, show with the guys. It should have been totally awesome, not that they aren't every time they play. Sully is still in town for another week and half so luckily I didn't miss his last show with the band, cause I think I would have had to kill somebody. Next weekend is his official last show with the band, and I think I might have to cry. Friday night was the first show that featured Nolan the new drummer. He only played one song with the band, but I was hysterical that I didn't get to see it. Really though I wasn't cause I was too busy puking to worry about it at the time.
The second concert I missed was on Saturday night. Seeing as how I was still throwing my guts up at the time. Patch and I were set and psyched to go to the concert but he ended up taking Sully instead. I guess if I couldn't go might as well let him cause he's leaving us and all. I'm not even going to tell you which concert cause then I'd have to be reminded all the time that I missed out on it. Why torture myself when I don't have to.
The second reason for it sucking being sick was missing school. Missing classes would have been amazing if not for two things. 1.) The fact that I was sick and couldn't do anything but lay in bed and try to sleep. 2.) I had a shit load of homework to do after missing Thursday and Friday. Seeing as how it's already Wednesday and I'm only now just getting time to get on here and write this.
Well I'm going to leave you with a thought and a song. First the thought, if you ever wake up early in the morning ready to go to school and think to yourself, "I wish I was sick so I could stay home. That would be so much better then being in school." Think again, it's a million times worse and you still have to do the homework you would have had to do. Although, now you have to do your current work and your make up work at the same time and get it done by the same short day. I would have honestly rather have been in school those two days.
Now a song. While sick I kept thinking of this Boys Like Girls song, 5 Minutes to Midnight. Only because I was sick and couldn't get this one line of the song out of my head. It goes, "I've got a sickness you've got the cure." I was sick and it was a sickness and a cure. Anyway, I'll leave you with this awesome song. Rock on and I'll talk to you all later.
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