Inside the Mind of a Sloppy Firsts Girl!


Monday, October 6, 2008

How To Make a Confusing Situation More Confusing

I actually had a really good weekend. I can't say I did anything really overly exciting. Friday night I hung out with my friends, and I'm glad the new girl wasn't there. Cause I didn't want to have to deal with it right then. Saturday I slept till noon, hung out at my brothers store, and then went to the show they put on at a local club. It was a great show everybody there absolutely loved them.

Sunday was when things started to go... Well let's see bad isn't the right word to use, because I happened to like what transpired. Let's just say that things took a turn for the interesting. After I got back from church that morning I spent most of the day at home. I had an essay due today (Monday) that I still didn't quite have finished. Also, since I hung out with my friends on Friday and my brother on Saturday, I had tons of calculus homework. It takes at least an hour every night to get just my calculus work done, sometimes up to two hours. No joke, if you've never taken calculus you'll just have to take my word for it.

As I was saying, I spent most of the day at home getting my school work finished for today. Once I finally got done, which was around 5, I decided to head over to Patch's and see what he was up to. When I need something to do hanging out with Patch is the first thing that comes to mind. I took the bus over (I can't wait till I'm 16, have my license, and can drive and no longer have to take the bus) and just my luck he wasn't there.

Jonah was working and of course decided that he didn't need to inform me that my brother and his friends had just left to get dinner about 5 minutes earlier. No, I got all the way upstairs to Patch's apartment to find it almost empty. I say almost because Nolan was the only one who was there. For those of you who don't know (Go back and read my earlier posting to get up to speed on everything), or have forgotten Nolan is the drummer in my brothers kick ass band.

"Where is everybody?" I asked.

"You just missed them, Tal. They all went to get dinner."

"Then why are you still here?"

"I though I could use a little extra practice learning the bands songs. I mean those guys have been playing these songs forever, and I still feel like I could do better," he replied hitting one of his cymbals.

I rolled my eyes and fell back onto a couch with a huff, "That figures. I finally get the chance to get out of the house and that loser isn't even here."

Nolan laughed, and let me tell you not only is he gorgeous but that smile of his could warm your heart from a mile away. "Your always welcome to keep me company."

That's exactly what I did. I watched him practice on the drums for a bit. That might sound boring, but trust me it wasn't. Watching him was like poetry in motion. After awhile he got tired from playing and he took a seat next to me on my brothers old beat up couch. (Actually I think it used to belong to my parents back when my brother was like 5. So, it's at least 30 years old.) We started talking, about anything and everything there was. Nolan told me what it was like for him back in high school, how he got into the drums, and just more about him. I talked about school, what I wanted to do for college, how I loved playing soccer, and because it's me I started babbling about how I loved school because of what a challenge it was. (Thinking about it now I know how much of a dork I sounded like.)

Before either of us knew it it was already 8:00, and I knew I should be getting home. Wait, you're probably wondering how my night was so confusing? Well, I haven't gotten to that part yet. Just after I got done saying that I should be heading home, and that Patch would probably be back any minute, he leaned in close and kissed me. Now, when I say kiss I don't just mean a little friendly kiss. It was a real; heart stopping, world spinning, leave you breathless kind of kiss. I was as shocked as I'm sure all of you are. Honestly I wasn't expecting that, not that I'm going to complain.

After he kissed me he decided to walk me down to the store, since he needed to be leaving too. We got to the door that lead into the back of the store and he and bent down and gave me a quick kiss before pushing through the door and heading home. He left me standing there dazed and confused. I knew I needed to get home before I wasn't able to find my way. As I made my way to the front door I heard someone clear their throat.

I turned to see Jonah sitting on the counter, "Hey there darlin leaving so soon?"

I glared at him. He either was just trying to get on my nerves or he had something to say. I was hoping it was the latter. "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing," which obviously meant not nothing. "I just don't think it's very becoming of a young lady whose only 15 to be making out with a 22 year old man."

"I wasn't making out with anybody."

"Not from where I was standing," even when he was being a total ass I couldn't help but admire his sexy smile, and that made me a bit depressed.

"It was not, it was barely even a kiss," I defended myself.

He held up his hands in mock surrender, "He I was only messing around. You go ahead and kiss whoever you want to. I'm only going to say one more thing about it. If that's alright with you?" I didn't respond, because I knew that even if I told him I didn't want to hear it he'd tell me anyway. He took my silence as consent to continue, because that's just what he did. "I just don't think Nolan is the type of guy you should be kissing. You can do a 100 times better then him."

I gave him a knowing smile, "I see how it is. Your just jealous because I told you to get lost when you kissed me, freak."

"That's funny," he pretended to laugh, "But really I'm not jealous. I know guys like Nolan and he not the kind you want to be kissing. You're just going to have to trust me, sweetheart. If you decide not to take my advice and keep on kissing him there's going to come a time when you realize that I'm right. But I'll be nice and won't say I told you so, I'll just be there to listen. I'm a really good listener you know."

"Why on earth would I take advice from you? You only tried to shove your tongue down my throat the first time I met you," he gave me a guilty grin. "I have to be going home."

"Fine, but you'll see."

I stopped with my hand on the front door, " Oh, and Jonah, don't say anything about any of this to anyone."

"My lips are sealed."

As I'm sure you can tell I really don't know what to think. I don't know whether to be elated that I was kissed by such a handsome older guy, or worried about what Jonah said about him. But then again can I really trust anything that Jonah says to me. (If you don't know the story behind Jonah and myself go read my blog about New Years, that will clear everything up.) I don't know what to think or what to do. I need some help and I need it fast.

But all of that aside, I love you all,


J-moose said...

Hmm, its an odd situation i'll give you that. Personally, I'd take a look at the person I kissed, and see if I could be doing it again 5 years down the road. I don't know you as well as Jonah does, but he sounds like he knows you fairly well, even if he'd probably never admit it. If he can say that Nolan's not the kind of guy you want to be kissing, then i'd take his word for it.

Komplete Khaos said...

I believe that you need to look towards the future in this sense, and know that true love is known, you dont think that you have true love you know you do. take it from a person who has been insanely in love with a woman for 9 years! haha and i knew i would love her from the second date

Nate said...

I've never read your bog before, but saw a thing about it in one of the groups on blogger. I'm not sure what to make of it all. Maybe Nolan didn't mean either kiss to be the kind of kiss you thought they were? Maybe it was just a kiss out of affection? You may have thought there was more to it, particularlly since you seem to already have had an interest in him. Maybe he did mean it the way you said, but did he say anything more about it, or just kiss you, and ket it go? I really don't think any guy other than high school guys should be kissing you at 15! I would tread carefully here, and make it clear what it is that you want!!

Sloppy Firsts Girl said...

Well, Nate maybe your right. Maybe I should find out what it meant. I haven't seen him since then, been too busy with school, but this weekend I'll definitely have a talk with him about it. Thanx, I appreciate your advice.

Faker said...

I am 22 and I would never make out with a 15 year old. 22 year olds have a different way of thinking than 15 year old girls. A kiss means nothing or rarely means anything to us! so if jonah was telling you not to go down that path either for your interest or spite i think its good advice either way.

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for some time this morning because I'm a nerd and wake up before anyone in the house is awake...anyway, I know you posted this awhile ago, but...I feel like I should give some advice. Been there, done that, dude. Seriously. You sound a lot like me in high school, and I got sucked into something like that. Took me about 8 years to get out of the vortex I got sucked into and to realize that's just not okay. Hope you figured it out before I did.

Anonymous said...

hey.while searching the internet i accidentally found your blog. my advice to you is to enjoy high school as much as you can with whoever (well not whoever but still...) you can. just try not to cross the line,don`t do anything that you`ll regret a few years from now.And also try talking to your brother.mine always gave me the best advices when it came to boys.(sorry for my grammar but english is not my first language)