Return of the Slam Book

If your not already familiar with the slam book then I suggest you go back and read a previous entry, What On Earth Was She Thinking. To recap: Back in September my friend Dasha decided, with all of her wisdom, to start a slam book. Despite Posie and myself trying to convince her otherwise.

I went back to school today (after a nice Christmas with my family and as I mentioned in the previous entry a not happy New Year.) as always I was super excited and completely ready for school to start up again after too much family time during the holidays.

The day was actually going amazingly well. At least until lunch time. After getting my food I headed over to the table my friends were already at. The closer I go to the table the more I noticed they were all huddled around something.

I set my tray down on the table, “Hello ladies. How’s your first day back from break?”

“You like school way too much, Tal,” Posie replied.

“Seriously,” Dasha added, “having to come back to school after having two weeks off totally blows. Any ordinary teenager would feel the same. You’re such a freak.”

“Yeah I know. What are we all looking at?” I asked.

“Don’t change the subject,” Katy barked.

“I didn’t, cause if there was no subject to begin with could I actually change it?”

“Don’t get smart with me.”

“Too late.”

She glared at me for a second, “But anyway, what happened with that hottie on New Years Eve?”

“No Katy, I don’t want to talk about that. I just want to forget about New Years and move on. Now what’s so interesting at our lovely little table, besides me?”

The look on Dasha’s face was like a little girl who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “I got my slam book back.”

I groaned, “I do not want to be a part of slam book talk.”

“Don’t be such a buzz kill,” Posie interjected. “It’s actually pretty funny. There are some mean things about me in it, but I’m bigger than that. It’s hilarious reading what everyone thinks of people in school. I know you could care less what others think about you, but aren’t you at least curious as to what others are saying?”

Well after everything I gave in and read through the slam book. Here are a few things I learned:


Posie:
-The perfect little bitch!
-With a body that amazing she’s either anorexic or bulimic. (There’s no way she’s either.)
-There’s only one reason Carter still goes out with her, SEX. (Yet I’m not positive that’s true. Even though apparently the whole school thinks so.)
-I know she’s only 16 but do you think her boobs are real? (Of course they are.)



Katy:
-One word, SLUT!!!
-Honestly, was she even a teenager the first time she had sex? (I think 13, but still that’s way too young.)
-She’s so pretty though she could have any boy in school. Or any boy for that matter. (This was in response to the previous 2 and others like it.)
-(And to counter the above one.) She can have any guy she wants cause she’ll sleep with them!



Dasha:
-The only reason little miss chubby is popular is because the princess’ daddy is super rich. (Comments like this made Dasha so mad cause she’s a little sensitive about her weight.)
-If her father wasn’t loaded she wouldn’t even have friends. (I’d still be her friend. Hopefully so would Katy and Posie.)
-I’m surprised and not surprised she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Surprised because boys like rich girls and not cause she’s kind of fat.
-Does she even have a brain inside that head of hers.
-It’s probably just filled with sawdust.



Talbot (Me):
-There is such a thing as too smart. (It was meant as a dis but I look at it as a compliment.)
-If she’d put even a little effort into how she looks she’d have her pick of guys. But the freaks too busy being an outcast. She needs to get a life.
-Can you say fashion disaster.
-She probably gets dressed in the dark.
-Have you seen her older brother he’s totally gorgeous. (I’ll even admit it. He’s a very handsome man.)
(Now I saved the best one for last. There other ones were fairly easy to ignore, mostly cause they were basically true. I also saved this one till last because it’s a horrendous lie. No truth to it what so ever. Yet it’s the one people like the most.)
-Does anyone else think it’s a little weird that her brother is 20 years older then her.
-Have you seen how much they look alike
-Her brother? Have you seen the way they act together? He’s more like
her father.
-You sure he’s not?

What the hell goes on in peoples heads. Of course he’s my brother. If he was my father I think I’d know. He’s my older brother and that’s all there is to it.

As I said before about the slam book in my previous entry, slam books are the root of all evil. (And now I have the proof that this is true.)